497. TMTF’s Top Ten Posts I’m Glad I Wrote

TMTF is almost done. Today seems like a good day to glance back at some of this blog’s better posts—and to squeeze in one last top ten list, of course. Top tens are my beat!

To paraphrase Strong Bad, “My blog posts are like my childrens. I love them all!”

Wait, no—that’s not right. I love some of my blog posts. Others are frankly pretty bad. Then there are a shining few that have a special place in my heart. These personal posts allowed me to discover something about myself, cope with life’s difficulties, or create something meaningful.

These are the posts I’m glad I wrote.

I’m about to get personal, ladies and gentlemen, as TMTF presents…

The TMTF List of Top Ten Posts I’m Glad I Wrote!

10. Goodbye, Beatrice

I always supposed that at some point I would grow up and stop having crushes on pretty girls, but I never did. (I think I may have I failed the whole growing-up thing.) One or two of my romantic crushes lasted for years and years, gathering many what-ifs and regrets. This post was my attempt to let them go. It was cathartic to write.

Like Dante, I wrote about my crush; unlike Dante, I wrote a quick blog post, not an epic poem of enduring brilliance.

I was reading Dante’s Inferno at the time. Dante’s lifelong crush on Beatrice mirrored my own situation, and I’m really satisfied with how this post tied together our stories.

9. The Infinity Manuscript

Little-known fact: Back in 2012, as my ill-fated novel ground slowly toward publication, I wrote a fantasy novella titled The Infinity Manuscript. (This was years before I knew of Marvel’s upcoming Infinity War movies; I wasn’t trying to steal their title, I swear!) This tale of loss and determination has its fair share of flaws, yet showcased some cool ideas and a plot twist of which I’m quite proud.

The Infinity Manuscript had a desert, maybe? Hey, I wrote it a long time ago!

I haven’t read The Infinity Manuscript in years, but remain fond of it. Who knows? I may resurrect the story someday and write it properly. Even if I don’t, The Infinity Manuscript brought me many hours of writing practice, along with some creative satisfaction.

8. Working on Self-Respect

Writing this post led me to discover an important and practical truth: Self-esteem is a feeling, but self-respect is a choice.

I choose to respect this guy. For some reason.

I have a fairly low opinion of myself. The past four or five years dealt my self-confidence some devastating blows: my career plans failed, my dream project failed, and my faith sometimes seems to be failing. This post reminded me that maintaining a sense of self-worth is not only possible, but worthwhile.

7. Lance Eliot Is Dead

Speaking of my dream project, this is the post in which I announced its failure. I declared Lance Eliot dead. The failure of my debut novel, The Trials of Lance Eliot, took away my incentive to work on its sequels. I was already committed to this blog, trapped in a toxic job situation, and struggling through a darker chapter of my life. I couldn’t keep writing Lance’s story, but felt guilty abandoning it.

It was hard to let this one go.

In the end, I let it go. This post represents one of the best decisions I ever made. Giving up Lance’s story took away a lot of stress and worry… and allowed me, years later, to resurrect it without the baggage of earlier failures. I don’t know whether I’ll ever finish the Lance Eliot saga, but thanks to this post, I’m free to try again from the beginning.

6. Jerks, Trolls and Other Hazards of the Internet

Not many people celebrate Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day, and with good reason—I made it up on a whim. This annual event, held on March 4, encourages everyone to send an encouraging message to someone on the Internet.

I like to think that all Internet trolls are actually cave trolls with laptops.

An earlier post introduced the concept of Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day, but this post inaugurated it properly and confirmed March 4 as its official date. Ever since, I’ve promoted and observed the event every year, and plan to continue doing so long after this blog is dust and ashes.

5. Adam’s Story: The Characters

Since resurrecting the Lance Eliot saga, all I’ve accomplished so far is some story planning—but good gosh, after this post, am I ever excited to start writing! Characters are my favorite element of storytelling. Reimagining Lance Eliot and other characters for my story project is easily the most fun I’ve had working on a story in years.

I can’t wait to write about this guy.

This post is extra-special thanks to terrific concept art from Sabina Kipa and JK Riki: artists whose skills were matched by their patience and positivity. When I write, it helps me to visualize scenes and characters, and this post’s character portraits have been helpful as I’ve worked on story planning.

4. An Evil Scientist Explains Band Names

I wanted to put a Geeky Wednesday post on this list, but it was hard to choose just one. For years, Geeky Wednesdays were my way of pointing at cool things and saying, “Look at this thing! Ain’t it cool?” These (typically) shorter, shallower posts bridged the gap between this blog’s “serious” posts on Mondays and Fridays. (I put “serious” in quotes because TMTF was hardly ever serious.)

Doofenshmirtz is my Patronus.

In the end, I chose the very first Geeky Wednesday post. It inaugurated one of this blog’s most enduring features, and I’m glad it did. Besides, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz is probably one of the greatest television characters of all time, and definitely one of the funniest.

3. I Believe

I wrote this post during a particularly rough week last month. A number of unrelated struggles and uncertainties troubled me deeply at the time. Quite by accident, I managed to weave them all together in a post that was not merely coherent, but among the best I have ever written.

This post was far more coherent than it had any right to be.

In the end, by some miracle of God, a post that should have been a train wreck became something structured, meaningful, and deeply cathartic to write. When I finished this post, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I consider it one of my best. It certainly helped me to write it.

2. Marching Home

This post is a eulogy for my late friend Nick. I was reluctant to put it on this list, fearing the list might cheapen it, but finally decided that it belongs here. This list is for posts I’m glad I wrote. I’m glad I wrote this one.

This scene still brings tears to my eyes.

When Nick passed away last year, I felt emotionally numb. Writing his eulogy helped me come to terms with his death, and allowed me to tell the story of our friendship. I tried to honor Nick’s memory by writing this post. Whether or not I succeeded, writing it helped me to grieve. Healing started here.

1. I Nearly Left My Faith Last Year

This was a surprisingly easy post to write, but hitting the Publish button took some nerve. After struggling with profound religious doubts for more than a year, I finally acknowledged them publicly. I told my story. Whether or not anyone listened, and however they replied, I felt calmer and lighter for telling it.

I haven’t given up yet, and neither has he.

Quite a number of people listened. They replied with compassion and understanding. I felt less alone. Of all the posts on this blog, this is the one I’m gladdest I wrote.

I’m glad I wrote these posts, and do you know what else? I’m glad people read them. Thanks for reading, guys. You are the best thing about this blog.

424. A Gentle Request

I don’t have a blog post for you today. What I have is a gentle request.

Today is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. Please consider using the two minutes you might have spent reading a new post on this blog to show a person on the Internet a little kindness.

Grumpy Cat

I invite you to go to someone’s personal profile, account, channel, blog, or webpage, and leave an uplifting comment. Send someone an encouraging message, note, tweet, or email. Make someone’s day!

Go forth, dear reader! Be nice to someone on the Internet! Thanks for reading, and Godspeed!

423. I Have a Million Neighbors

Most of us have neighbors. We may be separated by a wall, street, or building—or cornfield, if you live in Indiana. However close our neighbors may be, there is nearly always a separation of some kind.

Then there’s the Internet, where all that separates me from millions of other people are a few clicks or keystrokes. Privacy can be an elusive privilege on the World Wide Web. Almost anyone can find you. Almost anyone can be your neighbor, and you can be a neighbor to almost anyone. We’re all neighbors on the Internet. Every time I open my web browser, I enter a space with a million neighbors.

So what?

There once lived a humble, gentle, and kindhearted man, who taught of the importance of loving your neighbor as yourself.

I speak, of course, of Mr. Rogers.

Mr. RogersDo you know who else knew how to be a good neighbor? Totoro. Totoro knew how to be a good neighbor. Heck, I wish I were neighbors with Totoro, and I’m definitely not the only one. I couldn’t ask for a better neighbor than this fuzzy forest spirit.

Totoro

I can think of yet another good neighbor. There’s an old, old story of a traveler who was attacked by robbers and left half dead on the road. (You’ve probably heard this one.) A couple of people ignored the wounded man, but a stranger took pity on him, bandaged his wounds, and carried him to safety.

Good Samaritan

Art by Dan Burr.

That story of a good neighbor was told by Jesus Christ, the leading expert on loving people. According to Jesus, “Love your neighbor as yourself” is one of the most important rules in the universe.

We must love our neighbors. I mean, we can hardly disagree with Mr. Rogers, Totoro, and Jesus Christ, can we?

We’re all neighbors on the Internet, and we must love our neighbors, so what now? Well, this Friday is March 4, and if you’ve been around this blog for a while, you know what that means.

March 4 is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. This Friday marks the event’s fifth year—and, due to the end of TMTF later this year, the last one to be celebrated on this blog. (After TMTF concludes, I plan to celebrate the event every year on Facebook and Twitter.)

Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day is, well, a day for being nice to someone on the Internet. On March 4, or any time this week, go to someone’s personal profile, account, channel, blog, or webpage, and leave an uplifting comment. Send someone an encouraging message, note, tweet, or email. Find a person you appreciate—whether a content creator, friend, or total stranger—and be a good neighbor.

We’re all neighbors on the Internet. On Friday, March 4, let’s be good ones!

421. The Beginning of the End

Well, dear reader, this is it. This is the beginning of the end. After four and a half years of caffeinated rants and geeky ramblings, Typewriter Monkey Task Force is starting its final laps.

Final lap! (Watch out for banana peels.)

Final lap! (Watch out for banana peels.)

I’m ending this blog, but not quite yet. TMTF shall conclude with its five hundredth numbered post, which will probably be published toward the end of this year. I don’t yet have an exact date for that post; it depends on how many more breaks I take from blogging.

(You know, this bittersweet blog post could use an appropriately bittersweet soundtrack, such as “The Best Is Yet to Come” from Metal Gear SolidHere you go. No need to thank me.)

Why am I ending this blog? Well, that’s a good question. (I’m glad I asked.) Ending TMTF is a big decision, and I’m not the only one it affects—if you follow this blog, it probably affects you, too.

You may be a little saddened by TMTF’s impending demise. If you’ve enjoyed something over a long time, it can be hard to see it end. (Gravity Falls ended just a few days ago, so believe me, I know the feeling.)

Then again, you may just be wondering why I didn’t put this blog out of its misery ages ago.

There are a few reasons for my decision to end TMTF.

It’s getting harder for me to come up ideas for new posts.

As I think of posts to write for this blog, I feel like I’m beginning to scrape the bottom of the barrel. I would much rather give TMTF a respectable finish than drag it out endlessly: as Tolkien put it, “like butter scraped over too much bread.”

TMTF has lost its purpose.

I began this blog years ago with a strong sense of purpose. TMTF originally had three clear objectives.

  1. I wanted to build up an audience for the novel I was finishing at the time.
  2. I wanted to make some sort of positive difference with my God-given talents for writing, humor, and creativity.
  3. I wanted to try something new and exciting.

At this point, TMTF has either completed or failed these objectives; either way, they hardly matter anymore.

  1. My novel failed, and it won’t be getting sequels anytime soon, so there is no longer any point in finding an audience.
  2. At this point, I think TMTF has made pretty much all the difference it can. I’ve said most of the things I really wanted to say… except for the word pulchritude, of course, and now I’ve said it.
  3. After four and a half years, TMTF is neither new nor exciting. Writing this blog has been a great experience, but I’ve lost my passion for it.

When I started TMTF, I was motivated to write blog posts by a sense of purpose. Now I write them because I have to keep the blog’s publishing schedule. I’m trying to live more purposefully; it’s one of my resolutions for this year. My writing should be driven by a sense of purpose, not feelings of obligation. I owe that much to my readers, and to myself, and to God.

I want to work on a new project.

I could say more, but that’s another post for another day.*

I’m thankful for this blog, and I don’t regret the time and effort I’ve put into it. Working on TMTF over the years has brought me satisfaction, laughter, gleams of insight, and moments of catharsis… not to mention quite a lot of harmless fun.

I’ve met a number of amazing people through this blog whom I would never have met otherwise: JK Riki, the animator and creativity expert; Tom Zuniga, the wandering blogger; Rev Kev Niebuhr, the manliest Methodist of our generation; and more. I’ve also had the privilege of collaborating with awesome folks like Paul McCusker, a veteran writer for Adventures in Odyssey; Kevin McCreary, a YouTube and podcast creator; and colorful YouTube personalities like DRWolf and Crowne Prince, among many others.

This blog motivated me to write a fantasy novella and some short stories, not to mention hundreds of pointless rants thoughtful reflections upon faith, writing, video games, literature, TV, movies, life, the universe, and everything. With the help and support of its fabulous readers, TMTF raised hundreds and hundreds of dollars for charity. I even invented a holiday on this blog: Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day—which is coming up on March 4, by the way!

I’m thankful for Typewriter Monkey Task Force—and it ain’t over yet, folks! It shall continue yet for months and months, and there’s one thing I want to make very clear about its end. I’m not abandoning this blog. I’m finishing it.

Finally: Thank you, my dear readers. Thanks for the past four and a half years. I welcome you to stick around for whatever is left, and for whatever comes after!


*And that day shall be Friday.

Today, the Internet Needs You!

Today is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day.

Grumpy CatThe rules are simple. The Internet has too many grumpy, lonely, broken, discouraged people. Get out there and show someone on the Internet a little kindness!

Today, you can brighten the life of someone on the Internet. Today, you can let someone know he or she is valued and appreciated.

Today, the Internet needs you.

Quit reading this blog post and go make someone’s day!

343. All the Internet Needs Is Love

This Wednesday, March 4, is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day.

The Internet fascinates me. It’s a wonderful, dangerous place: a chiaroscuro mess of light and darkness. With its worldwide reach, teh internetz enables communication, creativity, cruelty, corruption, and the propagation of funny cat pictures. It offers invaluable services like email, social media, and online commerce, along with dangers like fraud, false advertising, malicious software, addictive porn, and trailers for Michael Bay’s movies.

One of the worst things about the Internet is that it can be really, really mean. People use it to scoff, scam, argue, insult, bully, rage, and slander. It has even created brand new forms of abuse like doxing and trolling.

Yes, the Internet can be awful. What can we do? Well, I have a suggestion.

Save the Internet!

So… who is with me?

(I should point out that my sign and its slogan have nothing to do with the recent ruling by the FCC to protect net neutrality—which is a fantastic idea, by the way. Nah, my sign is just a reminder than the Internet is a mess, and it needs saving in a way that goes far beyond net equality.)

The Internet has problems, but there’s hope. If I may echo the words of Linus in A Charlie Brown Christmas, “It’s not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.”

All the Internet needs is love.

This Wednesday, March 4, is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. This is the fourth time we’ve done this, so you may already know how it goes!

On Wednesday, send someone an encouraging message or email. Go to someone’s personal profile, account, channel, blog, or webpage and leave an uplifting comment. Find someone you appreciate—whether an artist, musician, blogger, friend, or total stranger—and let that person know he or she is appreciated!

Do something—anything—to show the Internet a little love. After all, the Internet is basically a community of people, and loving people is one of the best things we can do.

Amor vincit Interretium, dear reader: Love conquers the Internet. This Wednesday, March 4, please be nice to someone online and make the World Wide Web a better place.

Let’s save the Internet!

A Blog Post with Many Exclamation Points!

Today is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day!

Go to someone’s Facebook profile, blog page, YouTube channel, deviantART page, Twitter profile or Tumblr account and leave a sincere, encouraging comment! Send someone an appreciative note, message or email! Find some other way to be nice to someone on the Internet!

Go quickly, before I run out of exclamation points! Let someone know he or she is appreciated! This is your mission!

That’s it, I’m out of exclamation points.

In seriousness, take a minute today to make the Internet awesome, and spread the word about Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day.

In the meantime, I’ll order more exclamation points for this blog. I’m also short on the letters and K. I wonder why that is. I hardly ever use those letters. Oh, well.

Hey, here’s one last exclamation point. I’d better use it carefully.

Here goes: Go be nice to someone on the Internet!

251. Love Conquers Grumpy Cats

March 4 is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. If you’ve never heard of this noble event, it may be because I totally made it up.

You see, the Internet is not always a nice place. It’s often a dreary minefield of arguments, insults, swearwords, misspellings and pervy pictures. The Internet is a place for creepers, hackers, perverts, jerks and trolls to make hurtful statements, propagate harmful spam and post pornographic depictions of cartoon characters.

To be fair, the Internet can be fantastic. It has Facebook, Wikipedia, Netflix and Strong Bad Emails, not to mention wonderful pictures, videos, blogs, articles, discussions and recipes for baking pie. Some of the people on the Internet are intelligent, gracious and kind.

It’s just a shame so many aren’t.

For all the blessings of the miraculous, invisible network we call teh internetz, it has a lot of problems. It could use some nice people. Just ask Grumpy Cat.

Grumpy Cat

Grumpy Cat, the solemn arbiter of the Internet, has spoken from the depths of her wisdom and sagacity. Let’s not be grumpy about the Internet and its problems. It just needs a little kindness.

Tomorrow, March 4, is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. Tomorrow, go to someone’s Facebook profile, blog page, YouTube channel, deviantART page, Twitter profile or Tumblr account and leave a sincere, encouraging comment. Find someone you appreciate—whether an artist, a musician, a blogger, a friend or a total stranger—and let that person know he or she is appreciated.

I’ll post a reminder tomorrow on this blog for the event. In your own creative, unique, wonderful way, do something to make the Internet a better, nicer, kinder place—and please spread the word!

“Amor vincit Interretium,” said the ancient philosophers, and they spoke truly: Love conquers the Internet. Tomorrow, let’s prove them right. Tomorrow, let’s conquer insults and arguments and cruel words.

Tomorrow, dear reader, let’s make the Internet awesome.

166. A Blog Post with Many Exclamation Points!

Today is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day!

Go to someone’s Facebook profile, blog page, YouTube channel, deviantART page, Twitter profile or Tumblr account and leave a sincere, encouraging comment! Send someone an appreciative note, message or email! Find some other way to be nice to someone on the Internet!

Go quickly, before I run out of exclamation points! Let someone know he or she is appreciated! This is your mission!

That’s it, I’m out of exclamation points.

In seriousness, take a minute today to make the Internet awesome, and spread the word about Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day.

In the meantime, I’ll order more exclamation points for this blog. I’m also short on the letters Q and K. I wonder why that is. I hardly ever use those letters. Oh, well.

Hey, here’s one last exclamation point. I’d better use it carefully.

Here goes: Go be nice to someone on the Internet!

163. Jerks, Trolls and Other Hazards of the Internet

The Internet is not a friendly place.

Penny Arcade, a popular webcomic, proposed the following theory: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Jerk. (The original theory used a stronger word than Jerk, but I altered it because my mother reads this blog.) Secure in their anonymity, quite a number of ordinary people become insufferable gits on the Internet.

This high population of total jerks defaces the Internet with hatred, strife and bad grammar. Vicious arguments, packed with swearwords and poor spelling, are everywhere.

The Internet has issues, to put it politely. You can hardly swing a USB cable without hitting a hacker, a stalker or a Twilight fanatic. The infamous law known as Rule 34 makes the following proposition: If a thing exists, there is a pornographic depiction of it on the Internet.

Then there are the trolls.

Troll

This troll and the monster in Jabba the Hutt’s basement must be distant cousins or something.

I’m not talking about the monsters who live under bridges and wander into the bathrooms at Hogwarts. No, I’m talking about a different kind of monster: people who amuse themselves by making deliberately offensive or provocative statements.

Trolling can be in good fun, but it can also be horribly cruel. In an article I once read, an anonymous troll admitted to leaving a mocking comment on the Facebook profile of a girl who had recently committed suicide.

Yes, the Internet can be an awful place.

Let’s make it a better one.

You see, March 4 is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. Think of the holiday as a celebration of kindness. If that’s too sappy for you, think of it as a defiant, quixotic stand against the senseless cruelties running rampant across the Internet.

The milk of human kindness hasn’t soured and turned to yogurt quite yet, and on March 4 we’re going to prove it.

On Monday, March 4, go to someone’s Facebook profile, blog page, YouTube channel, deviantART page, Twitter profile or Tumblr account and leave a sincere, encouraging comment. Find someone whom you appreciate—whether an artist, a musician, a blogger, a friend or a total stranger—and let that person know he or she is appreciated.

Years ago, my life was brightened by a slip of paper: a random note of appreciation. It must have taken five minutes to write. I kept it for years. A sincere, thoughtful word of encouragement can brighten someone’s day. It can even change someone’s life.

If you feel inspired, take a minute sometime before March 4 to spread the word about Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. You’re welcome to share this blog post, and you’re also welcome not to share it. Just tell people to go be nice to someone on the Internet. Write your own blog post. In your own creative, unique, wonderful way, do something to make the Internet a better, nicer, kinder place.

On Monday, March 4, let’s make the Internet awesome.