What is Typewriter Monkey Task Force?
TMTF is a blog about faith, writing, video games, literature, television, movies, life, the universe, and everything.
That’s a lot of stuff for one blog.
You’re telling me—I’m the one who wrote it! Well, I didn’t exactly write TMTF. I dictated the blog to my typewriter monkeys. They did the writing… well, the typing.
TMTF hasn’t updated in ages. Have you abandoned your own blog? You monster!
I didn’t abandon this blog. I finished it. Game over!
Do you really have typewriter monkeys?
I did. They were my blogging assistants. After finishing this blog, I shipped them to Australia.
Where did you get your monkeys? And by forcing them to work for you, weren’t you breaking some kind of animal rights law?
My monkeys were completely legal. (I had a permit and everything.) I bought my monkeys and their typewriters on the Internet. According to their contract, they were obligated to help me with TMTF and other writing projects. In return, I let them stay in my apartment, and didn’t send them to the nearest zoo.
How could your monkeys update a blog using only typewriters?
What kind of question is that? Next.
Would you recommend typewriter monkeys?
Absolutely not. My monkeys drank too much, left banana peels everywhere, and frequently set things on fire. If you decide, for some reason, to purchase typewriter monkeys anyway, definitely don’t buy them on the Internet. A shady online seller once conned a friend of mine into buying a dozen typewriter sloths.
TMTF has a lot of posts—like, hundreds. Do you really expect anyone to read them? Ain’t nobody got that kind of time, man.
True. Of course, instead of slogging through hundreds of updates, you could always head over to this blog’s First Time Here? page for a short list of recommended posts.
What was the point of TMTF? Did it even have a point?
For years, TMTF was how I shared my excitement and passion for things: the goodness of God, the fun of storytelling, my various geeky interests, and a thousand other things. I wanted to make a positive impact on someone, somewhere, through this blog. In the end, TMTF helped at least one person. It helped me.
Who are you, anyway?
I am a twenty-something male human named Adam. Born and raised in Ecuador, I now reside in the US. I am an introvert, Christian, geek, and collector of machetes and plush toys. I love tea, Jesus, video games, friends, coffee, British literature, family, cartoons, and sandwiches. My greatest talents are playing Mario Kart and drinking inordinate amounts of coffee.
I no longer update this blog, but you can always find me on Twitter!
Um, okay. Do you have any final comments?
Thank you for visiting TMTF! I really enjoyed writing—typing, I mean—or dictating, I guess, technically—this blog, and I hope you enjoy reading it.
I like the illustration. Did you do that yourself or was there a drawing monkey thrown in with your shipment of typewriter monkeys?
The blog picture was drawn by my old man, who happens to be a gifted artist. I’m afraid I can’t draw to save my life. Maybe I should invest in a drawing monkey…
Awesome pic – is that monkey on the left drinking mate?
Yes, yes he is. 🙂
Your artistic padre blew your cover; I now can stalk you. Consider yourself alerted. You may wish to go under the Witness Protection Program. I, on the other hand, am under the Witless Projection Pogrom.
Welcome to TMTF, Greg. Stalk away!