Tag Archives: TMTF

157. I Am Not a Jedi

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I am not a Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Rastafarian, Pastafarian, Shintoist or Jedi.

(Jediism is apparently a minor modern religion. Who knew?)

I feel obliged to reaffirm my faith in Christ because I recently replaced Christianity with Faith in this blog’s tagline. Christianity is a pleasantly specific word. Faith is vague, generic and ambiguous. It can be used to describe almost anything.

Honestly, I rather like Christianity. It’s a splendid word.

Why the change?

Well, Christianity is quite a mouthful. Seriously, it has five syllables. Replacing it with a shorter word like Faith makes for a catchier tagline.

More significantly, I once pointed out that Christianity has taken on some unpleasant connotations. It’s often associated with irritating, vaguely religious stuff. Consider “inspirational” Christian books, which inspire me to sigh and roll my eyes. Think of Christian parodies of commercial logos. Don’t even get me started on Christian video games.

To wit, many people associate Christianity with religious clutter that doesn’t have any meaningful connection to God or faith or grace.

This blog isn’t about vaguely religious stuff.

TMTF is a blog about everything that interests, fascinates, puzzles, amuses and amazes me. It’s how I share my passion for things about which I’m passionate: literature, video games, cartoons, writing—and faith.

I don’t like religious clutter. I don’t consider myself an evangelical Christian, but merely an orthodox one. TMTF isn’t a religious blog, but merely one about God and faith… and a lot of other stuff.

C.S. Lewis described mere Christianity: the Christian faith with all the unnecessary stuff stripped away. During his life on earth, the Lord Jesus had some harsh things to say about the religious traditions that had been tacked on to the teachings God gave Israel. I doubt he’s pleased with some of the things we’ve tacked on to Christianity.

That’s why I’ve changed this blog’s tagline. TMTF won’t change—at any rate, not more than usual. It shall continue to be often silly, sometimes serious, hardly ever religious and always merely Christian.

155. Caution: Monkeys at Work

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Have you ever seen those signs that announce how many days have passed since the last workplace accident? TMTF has one of those signs, but but we go by minutes instead of days.

Even so, we hardly ever break double digits.

Yes, caution is necessary whenever my typewriter monkeys are at work. We’ve been working behind the scenes for a couple of days, and I’ve been very cautious. I’m alive and injuries have been minimal, so I think we’re doing well.

Besides reworking TMTF’s tags and tagging old posts, we’ve standardized formatting, replaced broken links, made revisions, fixed errors and generally done our best to make this blog beautiful.

TMTF now boasts a Tags feature! Tags classify posts more specifically than categories. Scroll to the bottom of TMTF’s homepage or any post and you’ll find a handy list of tags; clicking one will take you to the posts marked by that tag. It’s a convenient way to navigate this blog’s posts without plodding through the Archive.

We also held board meetings to discuss things like marketing, budgeting and future plans. Since I detest wearing formal clothes and sitting through tedious discussions, these meetings were pretty awful. (I can’t believe I had to dress nicely when my typewriter monkeys didn’t wear anything.) It took many hours and quite a lot of coffee, but we reached some important decisions.

Trying to cope

This photo, snapped during one of our board meetings, sums up my feelings about business stuff.

Last year, TMTF shared a crazy idea called Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. The idea was, well, to be nice to someone on the Internet: to leave a sincere, encouraging comment or compliment on someone’s Facebook profile, blog page, YouTube channel, deviantART account, Twitter profile or Tumblr account.

I think it was a great idea, but I was too hasty in springing it on my readers. I’d like to do it properly this year: spreading the word and getting other bloggers involved. Although last year’s Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day took place in August, we’ve decided to celebrate it on March 4 this year.

Moving on: my younger bro, whose fantastic artwork has previously been featured on TMTF, now has a deviantART page! An online art community, deviantART exhibits work from millions of artists—including my bro, whose beautiful pencil-and-paper reproductions of art and photographs are now on display.

Check out his deviantART page and be amazed!

What are you waiting for? Go check out that deviantART page!

“What are you waiting for? Go check out that deviantART page!”

Well, I suppose I’d better get back to work… cautiously, of course. It’s been twenty-two minutes since our last accident, and I’m expecting another at any moment.

150. Stuff I Wish I Had Known When I Started This Blog

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As TMTF reaches its one hundred and fiftieth post, I wonder what would happen if I traveled back in time and visited myself. Would the resulting temporal paradox tear apart the universe, or would I merely offer my younger self a cup of tea and tell him how to write a blog?

Assuming the universe held together, here’s the advice Future Adam would give his younger self about blogging.

Listen up, Adam. You think you're so cool with your typewriter monkey picture, but you've got a lot to learn about writing a blog. Let your older, wiser self give you some advice.

Listen up, youngster. You think you’re so cool with your typewriter monkey picture and supercilious smirk, but you’ve got a lot to learn about blogging. Let your older, wiser self give you some advice.

Keep it short

When I began this blog, I wrote way too much. Nothing discourages a reader like massive blocks of text. Instead of rambling like an academic or a drunkard, I should have written shorter paragraphs and avoided needless repetition.

Plan for the future, and write blog posts ahead of time

Only recently have I begun planning out blog posts weeks in advance. It has made all the difference. It’s easier to follow a schedule than to make rushed decisions, and simply clicking the Publish button when a post is due is much better than writing one at the last minute!

Do not, under any circumstances, give your typewriter monkeys the blog’s password

I learned this the hard way.

Use visuals!

Early on, I hardly ever included pictures. That was a mistake. Illustrations entice readers to check out blog posts that would otherwise go unnoticed. Visuals also break up the monotony of black text against a white background. Finally, writing silly captions is fun.

Make it your blog, not an imitation of someone else’s

TMTF began as an imitation of Stuff Christians Like by Jon Acuff, except my blog was about topics other than, well, stuff Christians like. I tried to copy Acuff’s approach and style.

It took me a long time, but I finally accepted an important truth: I am not Jon Acuff. I am Adam, a guy with glasses who drinks too much coffee and writes about faith and grammar and severed human arms. Despite my faults and failures, no one does a better job of being Adam than I.

Success and popularity aren’t the same thing

When I began TMTF, I secretly hoped it would become as popular as Stuff Christians Like and other notable blogs. It hasn’t, and that’s okay. I enjoy writing this blog. I hope other people enjoy reading it. I hope it honors God. If I and others and God are all fine with TMTF, I think it’s a success.

Be encouraged

Since I began blogging, my writing has improved so much. I’ve learned a lot, and it’s been fun despite its challenges and frustrations. For every time I wanted to bang my head against a hard, flat surface, there was a time I flung up my arms and shouted “Yes!”

Like life, faith and breaking records in Mario Kart, writing is hard.

Like life, faith and breaking records in Mario Kart, writing is totally worth it.

As we head into a new year—and as TMTF moves beyond one hundred and fifty posts—my typewriter monkeys and I would like to add just one more thing.

Thanks for reading!

143. I Can Has Guest Post?

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Update: This blog is finished, and no longer accepts guest posts. Thanks all the same!

A while back, I expressed my intention to feature more guest posts on this blog.

I love guest posts. They strengthen a sense of community among writers. “No blog is an island,” wrote John Donne, or something like that. Guest posts deliver new perspectives and refreshing changes of style.

On a more pragmatic (read: selfish) note, it’s always nice to have someone else write blog posts for me.

“I don’t always write posts for other blogs, but when I do I write them for Typewriter Monkey Task Force.”

“I don’t always write posts for other blogs, but when I do I write them for Typewriter Monkey Task Force.”

TMTF has featured posts from a number of distinguished guests, from Wes Molebash to Paul McCusker. (I’m still psyched that Mr. McCusker authored a post for this blog; he’s a writer whom I admire very much.) Even my typewriter monkeys have written a guest post! (It was a mistake to leave my blog’s password where they could find it.) Yes, guest posts are awesome, and I’d love to share more of them.

Here’s the exciting part: you can write a guest post. Yes, dear reader, you.

The time has come for me to delve into this blog’s dusty archives and bring forth the ancient, sacred principles of Writing a Guest Post for Typewriter Monkey Task Force.

What criteria are needed for a guest post to be featured on TMTF?

It should be about faith, writing, video games or literature

Possible topics for guest posts include creative writing tips, spiritual insights, literary musings or humorous observations about gaming culture. Posts about celebrity hairstyles, trigonometry or rubber bands will be instantly rejected.

It should be well-written

Guest posts should be coherent, succinct and easy to read. Between four hundred to eight hundred words is the ideal length. Grammatical errors and spelling mistakes shall be met with the full fury of my righteous indignation.

It should be funny, insightful or both

I try to make every post on TMTF entertaining or edifying. I don’t always succeed. That makes it even more important for guest posts to succeed where I fail!

It should be pleasant

TMTF is not an edgy or controversial blog, and there are already enough disputes, arguments and insults on the Internet without adding more. The purpose of this blog is “to impart hope or understanding or inspiration—or at the very least a healthy laugh—to someone who needs it.” Guest posts should honor that purpose.

If you’re interested in submitting a guest post, let me know via the Contact page!

I may not accept all submissions. Some guest posts, however well-written, may not be well-suited for this blog. I may suggest changes or edits to guest posts. In all cases, I’ll do my very best to be respectful of the work submitted.

There are many possible topics for guest postage. (Is guest postage a valid phrase? Having already upset grammarians and English professors with the title of this blog post, I can’t be too careful.) These include About Writing posts, Why [Insert Author Name] Is Awesome posts, book reviews, humorous top ten lists and spiritual reflections.

Why write a guest post for this blog? Well, if you have a website, blog, Twitter page or website, it can be featured along with your post.

More importantly, you can become an honorary member of the Typewriter Monkey Task Force! (There are no rules, responsibilities or rewards associated with membership—just bragging rights.) Honorary members of the TMTF include Curious George, Diddy Kong, Fred the Monkey and Matthew McConaughey.

Honorary membership to the TMTF is such an exclusive privilege that most of its lucky recipients aren’t even aware of having been made honorary members. It doesn’t get any classier than that!

Incidentally, my typewriter monkeys and I are always delighted to write posts for other blogs. If you’re in need of some guest postage, let us know!

123. And Here We Go!

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Not long ago I posed a question to the reader (or readers; I’ll be optimistic) of this blog: What needs to change?

I suggested some changes and received quite a lot of encouraging, helpful feedback. This post will explain briefly what’s changing and what isn’t.

The Turnspike Emails are officially discontinued. I love the concept, but I’m afraid I’ve failed to do it justice. Besides, Turnspike Emails are deuced hard to write.

By popular demand, book reviews are here to stay. I guess that means I’ll have to stop rereading old favorites and pick up something new. I’ve been meaning to read Life of Pi and The Hunger Games, and Brave New World has been gathering dust on my bookshelf since I picked it up from a yard sale a few weeks ago.

My typewriter monkeys and I will choose the next book for review using the same process we use to make all major decisions about this blog: writing each option on a slip of paper, taping the slips to darts and throwing the darts at a picture of Friedrich Nietzsche. Our final decision is determined by which dart comes closest to striking the exact center of Nietzsche’s mustache.

This blog’s standard varieties of posts—About Writing lectures, That Time I _____ anecdotes, reflections upon the Christian faith, commentaries upon video games, totally biased flawlessly objective top ten lists and posts about random topics—will continue, and Why [Insert Author Name] Is Awesome posts will become a regular feature.

I’ll also post creative writing occasionally. Unlike usual posts, these creative pieces won’t be published according to any schedule. They’ll be posted occasionally on Wednesdays. My monkeys and I make no definite commitments.

When I moved into my apartment last month, I was relieved to find out that my typewriter monkeys are considered residents; I don’t have to pay a pet fee. They’ve taken up residence in the hall closet, which they have converted into a base of operations for nocturnal raids upon the refrigerator. I’m thinking of buying a lock for the fridge to keep out the monkeys, or possibly rigging a car battery to run electrical current through the refrigerator handle. The first option is more economical, but the second option is strangely appealing.

Now to be serious. It’s not too late to offer advice, criticisms and suggestions for this blog! TMTF will continue to grow and change over time. We’re always open to new ideas.

My sincere thanks to the folks whose feedback and encouragement have helped shape this blog.

And here we go!

120. TMTF’s Future Is Yours to Shape!

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Wait, which way to the future?

Stale is a nasty word. It makes me think of television shows or book series that have gone on too long, or even—oh, the horror!—packets of cheese crackers that have been opened and then forgotten in some obscure corner of the snack cupboard.

This blog has been up and running for more than a year, and I don’t want it ever to become stale. My typewriter monkeys and I are considering making some changes in direction for TMTF, and today’s post is to give you—yes, dear reader, you—an opportunity to shape this blog’s future!

I’m thinking of discontinuing the Turnspike Emails. These posts are TMTF’s version of The Screwtape Letters, a book by C.S. Lewis that explores Christian ideas from a demon’s perspective. I’ve used the Turnspike Emails to reflect upon (and sometimes to vent about) various spiritual issues. However, I’m not satisfied with the Turnspike Emails. I don’t feel like I’m doing C.S. Lewis’s excellent idea justice.

Shall I stop writing the Turnspike Emails?

I’m also considering discontinuing book reviews. While they’re fun to write, I haven’t been consistent enough in posting them to justify their existence as a regular feature of this blog.

Shall I keep the book reviews or stop writing them?

I intend to continue writing several categories of posts. The About Writing posts are here to stay, of course, as well as the That Time I _____ posts in which I share anecdotes of odd adventures I’ve had. (I’m running out of stories, but I still have a few up my sleeve.) I’ll definitely keep my reflections upon the Christian faith, my commentaries upon video games, my posts about random topics and, of course, TMTF’s ever-popular top ten lists.

Depending upon feedback, I may feature some of these categories of posts more or less often.

Which of these categories do you want to see featured more often? Which do you want to see featured less often?

I’m thinking of adding a new feature highlighting authors whom I appreciate. These posts would be titled Why [Insert Author Name] Is Awesome, and would introduce writers, explain what makes their writing significant and recommend one or two books with which a beginning reader can start.

Is this a good idea for a new feature?

I’d also like to feature more creative writing. While I probably won’t feature any more serials like The Infinity Manuscript for a long time, there are some short stories I’d like to share.

If I published creative writing on this blog, it would be on Wednesdays in order not to interrupt the usual Monday and Friday posts. In other words, creative writing pieces would be an addition to regular blog posts, not a replacement for them. Unlike blog posts, which are posted twice weekly, creative writing wouldn’t follow any kind of schedule. Rather, it would be posted only when I had something ready to post—probably once or twice a month.

What are your thoughts? Would the addition of stories make this blog better, or clutter it with unnecessary posts?

The stated purpose of this blog is “to impart hope or understanding or inspiration—or at the very least a healthy laugh—to someone who needs it.” I want this blog to make you think, or to make you smile.

This brings me to my final question.

What more do you want to see from this blog? How can my typewriter monkeys and I serve you?

My monkeys and I want to make this blog the best it can be. We want to brighten the lives of our readers, and we can’t do it alone.

Your suggestions, criticisms and advice are much, much appreciated. Please, comment away!

No Internet

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There was no new post on Monday, for which I apologize. My typewriter monkeys and I recently moved into a new apartment, and there have been unexpected delays in obtaining an Internet connection.

This blog will resume its usual posts on Monday… I hope. Thanks for your patience!

UPDATE:

A representative from an Internet company came to install Internet stuff in my apartment, but one of my monkeys bit him and now the company won’t send another representative. I’m trying to work things out, but I’m afraid this means there will be no new post on this blog on Monday, September 10.

Internet or no Internet, regular TMTF posts will resume on Friday. Adam has spoken, and so shall it be.

In the meantime, I suggest you go check out Just the Fiction, Ma’am immediately. It’s a blog about writing and faith, and it’s awesome.

100. An Important Post

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Typewriter Monkey Task Force has featured one hundred regular posts! Today, my friends, is a great and solemn day. At least it would have been if my typewriter monkeys hadn’t gotten their paws on some fireworks.

This milestone post gives me the opportunity to revisit a few important posts and to make some announcements.

Beginning today, my monkeys and I are taking a week off from TMTF. Regular posts will resume next Monday, July ninth. I’m taking a break in order to focus on a bigger project, which brings us to the next announcement.

The Trials of Lance Eliot—my debut novel—comes out today!

Six years ago, I began working on the novel that would grow into The Trials of Lance Eliot, the first volume of a trilogy titled The Eliot Papers. The project has been my greatest passion as a writer, so I’m excited finally to be able to share it!

The novel is available for purchase!

A few months ago, I published The Infinity Manuscript, a fantasy in twelve parts, as a serial on this blog. The Infinity Manuscript isn’t nearly as polished as The Trials of Lance Eliot, but it’s available to read for free!

I also wrote a short but significant series of posts titled Help, I’m a Christian! in which I shared some of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned about relationships, faith and Christian living.

In addition to TMTF and the blog for my novel, I maintain a blog called Solidarity that shares reports of persecution against Christians. Please feel free to check out Solidarity or my explanation of why it matters.

I’d love to feature more guest posts on TMTF! If you’d like to write a post for this blog, check out these guidelines.

I’ve also been privileged to write a few guest posts for other blogs, including Stuff Christians Like, Social Biblia and Thomas Mark Zuniga’s blog. My typewriter monkeys and I are always delighted to write guest posts, so feel free to contact me if you’re ever in search of a guest blogger!

Finally, I need to thank some people for their assistance, encouragement and support.

Thanks to my typewriter monkeys—Sophia, Socrates, Plato, Hera, Penelope, Aristotle, Apollo, Euripides, Icarus, Athena, Phoebe and Aquila—for their work on the blog. I could never have kept up TMTF without you. Thanks, guys. Don’t ever buy fireworks again, okay?

Thanks to my parents for proofreading many of my posts, and special thanks to my old man for providing TMTF’s artwork. You guys are fabulous.

Thanks to the bloggers who have written guest posts for TMTF, and to my younger bro for allowing me to feature his drawings. I’ve been honored to share your work.

Thanks to God, whose love, grace and kindness are rocking awesome.

Finally, thanks to the readers and followers of this blog! Your likes and comments are so much appreciated. There is no greater honor for a writer than having his work read.

We’ll be back!

90. TMTF at a Turning Point

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My typewriter monkeys are on strike. This is no surprise, since their union requires its members to strike at least once a month regardless of their work situation. Curse you, Society for the Protection and Advancement of Typewriter Monkeys!

This strike comes at a bad time, since TMTF is approaching a turning point. The Infinity Manuscript is less than a week away from completion. My first novel, The Trials of Lance Eliot, will be released next month—I hope. In a month or so, TMTF will reach its hundredth post. Finally, I’ll be leaving Montevideo in less than two weeks and settling in central Indiana, embarking upon a new stage of life.

Some things are coming to an end. Others are just beginning.

It seems like a good time for me to clean up the blog. Many posts on TMTF would benefit from revision. Moreover, I want to create an Archive page that lists posts topically instead of chronologically. At the moment, regular posts are mixed up with installments of The Infinity Manuscript and the Help, I’m a Christian! series in the Archive. Being a tidy, borderline obsessive-compulsive sort of person, I want to arrange TMTF’s posts neatly.

These revisions and rearrangements will take some time—especially since I’ll have to make them myself. (I never thought I’d say it, but I miss my typewriter monkeys.) For that reason, there will be no new post on TMTF on Monday. The blog will resume its regular updates on Wednesday with the final part of The Infinity Manuscript.

Since TMTF is taking a brief break from regular updates, this seems like a good opportunity to recommend a few older posts!

Regarding faith, you can read about gangster pastors, the problem of pain or the greatest lesson I ever learned from a webcomic.

On the subject of writing, you can read reflections upon characterization, brevity or the three platinum rules of writing.

About video games, you can reflect upon the surprising excellence of game music, the iniquities of ten terrifying villains or the golden rules for success when playing RPGs.

Concerning literature, you can ponder the humorous faults of modern worship music, the dazzling beauty of literary gems or what novels ought to be made into movies.

As for life, the universe and everything, you can consider such fascinating subjects as anime hair, facial hair and the sacred art of packing.

For the truly brave of heart, I also recommend the thrilling accounts of That Time I Tangled with Barbed Wire, That Time I Was Trapped in a Stage Kiss or That Time I Held a Severed Human Arm.

As TMTF moves beyond this turning point, I’m excited for its future. I just hope my typewriter monkeys stop striking soon.

74. Guest Posts Welcome!

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Update: This blog is finished, and no longer accepts guest posts. Thanks all the same!

John Donne once observed, “No blog is an island.”

I may possibly be misquoting him, but the basic principle is the same. Few people can survive apart from other people. Few blogs can exist independently from other blogs. Like most people, most blogs are part of a community.

I’d never have begun TMTF without inspiration from bloggers like Jon Acuff and Wes Molebash. Community can be extremely important for writers; bloggers are no exception. As I’ve said before, just because writing can be a lonely form of art doesn’t mean it should be.

I’d love to feature guest posts more regularly on TMTF. Quoth Uncle Iroh, “It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.”

TMTF has already featured great guest posts on creativity, literary dialogue and the things we find when we clean out our Bibles. I would be delighted to present guest posts on other humorous, useful or unusual topics.

What criteria are needed for a guest post to be featured on TMTF?

It should be about faith, writing, video games, literature, TV, movies, or meaningful personal experiences.

Possible topics for guest posts include creative writing tips, spiritual insights, literary musings or humorous observations about gaming culture. Posts about celebrity hairstyles, trigonometry or rubber bands will be instantly rejected.

It should be well-written.

Guest posts should be coherent, succinct and easy to read. Between four hundred to eight hundred words is the ideal length. Grammatical errors and spelling mistakes shall be met with the full fury of my righteous indignation.

It should be funny, insightful or both.

I try to make every post on TMTF entertaining or edifying. I don’t always succeed. That makes it even more important for guest posts to succeed where I fail!

It should be pleasant.

TMTF is not an edgy or controversial blog, and there are already enough disputes, arguments and insults on the Internet without adding more. The purpose of this blog is “to impart hope or understanding or inspiration—or at the very least a healthy laugh—to someone who needs it.” Guest posts should honor that purpose.

If a guest post meets the above criteria, TMTF will be honored to feature it.

How can guest posts be submitted?

Behold! TMTF now has a Contact page! If you’re interested in submitting a guest post, simply use the contact form.

I may not accept every single submission. Some guest posts, however well-written, may not be well-suited for TMTF. In some cases I’ll suggest changes to guest posts to make them more suitable. In all cases I’ll do my best to be respectful of the work submitted.

I’m going to be guilty of shameless self-promotion and admit my typewriter monkeys and I are always delighted to write guest posts for other blogs. If you’re looking for a guest post about faith, writing, video games, literature, life, the universe or everything, let us know using the Contact page!