Tag Archives: news

251. Love Conquers Grumpy Cats

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March 4 is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. If you’ve never heard of this noble event, it may be because I totally made it up.

You see, the Internet is not always a nice place. It’s often a dreary minefield of arguments, insults, swearwords, misspellings and pervy pictures. The Internet is a place for creepers, hackers, perverts, jerks and trolls to make hurtful statements, propagate harmful spam and post pornographic depictions of cartoon characters.

To be fair, the Internet can be fantastic. It has Facebook, Wikipedia, Netflix and Strong Bad Emails, not to mention wonderful pictures, videos, blogs, articles, discussions and recipes for baking pie. Some of the people on the Internet are intelligent, gracious and kind.

It’s just a shame so many aren’t.

For all the blessings of the miraculous, invisible network we call teh internetz, it has a lot of problems. It could use some nice people. Just ask Grumpy Cat.

Grumpy Cat

Grumpy Cat, the solemn arbiter of the Internet, has spoken from the depths of her wisdom and sagacity. Let’s not be grumpy about the Internet and its problems. It just needs a little kindness.

Tomorrow, March 4, is Be Nice to Someone on the Internet Day. Tomorrow, go to someone’s Facebook profile, blog page, YouTube channel, deviantART page, Twitter profile or Tumblr account and leave a sincere, encouraging comment. Find someone you appreciate—whether an artist, a musician, a blogger, a friend or a total stranger—and let that person know he or she is appreciated.

I’ll post a reminder tomorrow on this blog for the event. In your own creative, unique, wonderful way, do something to make the Internet a better, nicer, kinder place—and please spread the word!

“Amor vincit Interretium,” said the ancient philosophers, and they spoke truly: Love conquers the Internet. Tomorrow, let’s prove them right. Tomorrow, let’s conquer insults and arguments and cruel words.

Tomorrow, dear reader, let’s make the Internet awesome.

243. Solidarity Ends

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Long ago, I had a teacher named Mr. Quiring: a dignified, solemn gentleman, like one of the Old Testament patriarchs without a beard, who taught upper-level high school English classes. His bookish manner belied a wicked sense of humor, which manifested itself in unexpected and unusual ways.

Mr. Quiring once pelted his students with Snickers bars—a rare treat in Ecuador—while bellowing “FEAST!” On another occasion, while explaining the infinitive form of verbs, he climbed onto a chair, leaped into the air and shouted, “To infinitives and beyond!” I will never forget the day he interrupted a discussion of ritual sacrifices in ancient Judaism to brandish a meat cleaver at me.

Besides his memorable jokes, I owe much to Mr. Quiring. He opened my eyes to the world of contemporary literature. Mr. Quiring also encouraged me to write a book for a contest, which won a college scholarship and motivated me to keep writing. Finally, it was Mr. Quiring who invited me to Solidarity and began to break my heart.

Solidarity was a weekly prayer meeting that met on Thursdays to focus on religious persecution. I was staggered to realize persecution isn’t a relic of bygone eras, but an ongoing tragedy. It is, in fact, a greater problem now than it has ever been.

In the years that followed, I started a prayer letter that highlighted persecution cases and offered suggestions on how to pray for the victims. I called the prayer letter Solidarity and sent it nearly every Thursday. Solidarity eventually transitioned from a prayer letter to a blog. A couple of years ago, I realized hardly anyone visited the blog, and so began updating it every two weeks instead of weekly.

For half a decade, Solidarity has existed in some form: a prayer letter, a blog, a fading hope that someone would care.

This week, after all these years, Solidarity ends.

I hate to let it go. The problem of persecution breaks my heart. I wanted to spread awareness and help people through the Solidarity blog, but I can’t keep spending hours every two weeks researching, writing and maintaining a blog no one reads. In past weeks, the blog published two posts, each representing hours of work—and received only one view.

I desperately want to help victims of religious persecution, to stand in solidarity with them, but I can’t invest so much time and effort in a project that makes no difference. Good intentions help no one. If nobody glances at the Solidarity blog, I can hardly justify keeping it.

My efforts seem to have failed, but I’m not bitter or angry. Solidarity was never a personal project, like The Eliot Papers or this blog. It was meant to be a ministry. It was meant to help people. I’m sad to see it end, and sorry it wasn’t very useful.

What next?

Solidarity may no longer exist as a blog, but I’ll use Twitter and Facebook every Thursday to share a single persecution case and request for prayer for its victims. I’ll keep up with news about religious persecution, and I’ll keep praying.

God bless you all!

240. TMTF Chills Out

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This blog has frozen. No, really. Even the Internet is not immune to the record-breaking cold that swept over America last week, and TMTF is encased in a thick layer of ice. My readers assure me they’re still able to navigate this blog, fortunately, but updating TMTF will be nearly impossible until it warms up. The ice is too thick, and a flock of penguins keeps getting in the way.

Penguin!

Typewriter Monkey Task Force: Now Featuring 100% More Penguins!

Since TMTF is on ice, this seems like a fine opportunity to take a break. I feel like I’ve taken too many breaks from this blog, but I have good reasons.

1. TMTF has frozen.

See above.

2. My typewriter monkeys are serving two weeks for arson, public indecency and possession of illegal pyrotechnics.

Don’t ask.

3. The past four months have been crazy.

Since September, I gained a housemate and gave up a project on which I had worked for nearly eight years. My car, Tribulation, lived up to its name and spent more than a month on the fritz. I had bouts with sickness and depression; in fact, at this very moment, I’m recovering from a really bad cold.

Most significantly, my job became very difficult.

I don’t write much about my employment in a home for gentlemen with disabilities. It’s a great job, but the last thing I want to do in my free time is to blog about work. However, without going into tedious details, I’ll share just a little.

Four major complications arose at my workplace in October. Months later, my coworkers and I are still feeling their effects. There have been a few days (and nights) in past months when my job has seemed kind of awful.

My life appears to be calming down at last—thank God! All the same, I could use a couple of weeks to rest, work ahead on this blog and finish the Ace Attorney game I started way back in October.

4. I have resolved to keep up with this lousy blog.

Keeping up with this blog is one of my resolutions for 2014, and I intend to keep it. I think giving myself a head start early in the year, even if it means taking a break, is the most sensible plan.

To tell the truth, I feel insecure when I take breaks from blogging. I have an irrational fear that readers will abandon TMTF the instant it stops updating regularly, or that it will fall apart the second I look away. It is at times such as these that I must reorder my priorities and remind myself that importance and urgency are not the same thing. This blog is important to me, but it doesn’t have to be urgent.

I think TMTF should chill out for a while.

We’ll be back on Monday, January 27. Here’s hoping this blog has thawed out by then!

229. A Christmas Story (with Assassins)

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I’ve decided to share one of my old stories on TMTF this month, because recycling is good for the environment.

I wrote “Zealot: A Christmas Story” because there are not enough Christmas stories about assassins. It’s the tale of Jehu, a Jewish revolutionary bent on driving the Roman Empire out of Palestine. His life of hatred and bloodshed is interrupted by an astonishing series of people: a cowardly traveler, some crazy shepherds, a grouchy scholar and a rabbi whose teachings would transform the world.

The story of the Nativity is a familiar one. We all remember the stable, the manger, the angels and the shepherds. What we forget is the historical context. For centuries, the Jews had been subjugated by powerful empires. Ancient prophecies of the Messiah, a hero chosen by God to restore Israel, must have seemed empty and distant.

Jesus was born in an era of hopelessness and disillusionment. Since God seemed to be doing nothing to rescue Israel from Rome, a number of Jews decided to take matters into their own hands. They became zealots: revolutionaries fighting a hopeless battle, struggling to survive and awaiting the Messiah whom God had promised.

In the end, the Messiah came. He lived and died not to rescue Israel from Rome, but to free humankind from death.

“Zealot: A Christmas Story” is the tale of a revolutionary, and how he witnessed the beginning of a revolution infinitely greater than any he could imagine.

Throughout December and early January, chapters of this story will be published on TMTF on Wednesdays, replacing my weekly ramblings about geeky things. Never fear! Geeky Wednesdays will return next month.

I hope you enjoy “Zealot: A Christmas Story.” Have a bright, beautiful December!

225. Monkeys Are Missing

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My typewriter monkeys, my reluctant assistants on this blog, have fled to parts unknown. This comes as no surprise. Their last escapade was months ago, and another one was due.

(The last time they disappeared, I found them trying to break capuchin monkeys out of the Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo. It was a mess.)

My monkeys’ departure to regions unknown is actually convenient for me. (If they’d known it would be, I guarantee they wouldn’t have gone.) It gives me an opportunity to work ahead on this blog, catch up with other commitments and play the latest Ace Attorney.

In the meantime, please keep an eye out for my monkeys.

“I don’t always write posts for other blogs, but when I do I write them for Typewriter Monkey Task Force.”

Have you seen this monkey?

This blog will return—I hope—on Wednesday, November 20. My monkeys should be back by then, and we’ll take it from there!

221. About Writ—I Mean, Storytelling

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There was a time when this blog featured About Writing posts, which consisted of my rambling advice on how to write fiction. I wrote about stuff like characterization, style, setting and attitude.

After giving it some thought, I’ve decided to discontinue About Writing posts. I’ve covered pretty much every topic I wanted to discuss. Besides, I’m no longer sure I’m really qualified to give advice about writing fiction.

All the same, fiction fascinates me. I’m intrigued by storytelling. I can’t help it. That said, I want to continue discussing (read: rambling about) fiction on this blog. I won’t blather any more in About Writing posts on how to write stories, but I’d like to discuss narrative tricks and techniques in a new feature: About Storytelling posts.

What is Chekhov’s gun? Is objectionable content ever acceptable in fiction? What is retconning? (It sounds highly illegal, whatever it is.) Who cares about symbolism? What about character quirks? And why is Batman clearly the best superhero when he has no superpowers?

These are Burning Questions. We here at TMTF consider it our duty to answer them.

216. Lance Eliot Is Dead

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This is a hard post to write.

I suppose I should start with a clarification. Lance Eliot isn’t completely dead. He’s mostly dead. As the creepy old man from The Princess Bride reminds us, “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.”

Long ago, I resolved to write and publish a novel. I wanted to be an author. It was my dream. For years, I worked on several versions of a story about a college student named Lance Eliot and his unexpected adventures in another world.

I sort of succeeded more than a year ago with the publication of The Trials of Lance Eliot, the first novel in a trilogy called The Eliot Papers. I had done it! I was a novelist! The first book was published, and all that was left was to finish its two sequels.

The Trials of Lance Eliot

At the moment, I don’t think I can.

For nearly eight years, Lance Eliot’s story has been my greatest passion as a writer. I’ve invested so much in it. I want to have it finished. It hurts to abandon it.

All the same, I think the time has come for me to let it go.

To clarify: I don’t intend to abandon The Eliot Papers forever. I hope to finish the trilogy someday. It just won’t happen anytime soon.

Most of my readers probably don’t care, but I know a few have enjoyed The Trials of Lance Eliot and want to read its sequels. I owe those readers an explanation and an apology.

The apology is shorter, so I’ll start there.

I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.

If you’ve enjoyed The Trials of Lance Eliot and want to know the rest of Lance’s story, feel free to contact me with questions. I’m happy to share plot details with readers who want to know how Lance’s story ends.

As for the explanation: I think Hergé, the creator of The Adventures of Tintin, put it best: “Right now, my work makes me sick. Tintin is no longer me . . . If Tintin continues to live, it is through a sort of artificial respiration that I must constantly keep up and which is exhausting me.”

At this time, I feel the same about Lance Eliot as Hergé felt about Tintin. I love the character and his world and his story. I simply can’t keep them up. They’re exhausting me. What began as a dream has become a burden.

I have other reasons for setting aside The Eliot Papers. I have a job and a blog and many other commitments. I sometimes suffer from depression. At the best of times, writing fiction is hard. Working on a massive project like The Eliot Papers is exhausting and stressful. The addition burden of author stuff—updating a book blog, maintaining a Facebook page, gathering reviews and promoting my writing—is simply more than I can handle.

There is one final problem: The Trials of Lance Eliot hasn’t sold well. I regret to say the novel hasn’t even recouped the money its publisher invested in its publication. This is mostly my fault; I should have been much more active in promoting the book. All the same, it’s definitely a deterrent from investing endless time and effort in sequels.

In the end, I was left with two options. I could, in addition to many other commitments, keep working on The Eliot Papers: an exhausting, discouraging project without much chance of success. My other option was to let it go.

After much coffee and even more careful, prayerful consideration, I’ve chosen the second option.

My publisher has graciously accepted my decision. I’ve already deleted the book’s blog and my Goodreads author page. My Facebook author page is in the process of being deleted, and I’ve made many tweaks to this blog to eliminate inconsistencies and links to sites that no longer exist.

My decision to let go of The Eliot Papers has left me sad and discouraged. It’s hard to see a dream die. At the same time, I feel free. My life has become simpler. I can work on other projects, and I can spend free time reading and gaming without feeling guilty. That vague, constant burden of anxiety is gone. I can be a writer again without being an author.

Lance Eliot’s story has been quite a journey for us both. Working on The Eliot Papers taught me pretty much everything I know about writing. It was exciting, challenging, fulfilling and fun. In spite of its discouragements and failures, I thank God for The Eliot Papers. It was definitely an adventure.

Lance Eliot isn’t all dead, and I hope he returns someday.

For now, though, I have my own life to live.

210. TMTF Gets It Together

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Confession: For the past two weeks, I’ve been struggling to keep it together.

(Can I confess stuff on my blog? Are bloggers allowed to do that?)

Work has been oddly exhausting. My younger brother recently moved in with me, which has been awesome… and a bit stressful for both of us. My car, Tribulation, lived up to its name and stopped working properly. (Well, Trib never quite worked properly, but it generally came close enough.) I will probably have to pay for expensive repairs or else buy a new car.

Even my typewriter monkeys are still on strike. (I’m typing out this post myself: grueling hard work.) My monkeys keep waving signs at me and threatening to break my coffeepot if I don’t meet their demands, which mostly involve bananas and health insurance.

For two weeks, I’ve felt overwhelmed by changes and difficulties and responsibilities. Mild anxiety has repeatedly given way to discouragement or quiet panic.

Times like these never last, thank God. I’m finally getting it together. As usual, there was no magical moment, abrupt epiphany or blinding revelation that fixed everything instantly. Getting it together has taken work, prayer, sleep, coffee and this post from Amy Green, whose blog is way better than mine.

I was planning to discuss Christian evangelism or Scott Pilgrim today, but those posts can wait. Today is a good day to talk about what’s going on in our lives.

So what’s going on in your life? Let us know in the comments!

209. Super Stück Bros.

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My younger bro, who arrived in the US a couple of weeks ago from Uruguay, is now living with me.

So yeah, that’s awesome.

My younger brother may be taller than I, but I'm STOUTER.

My younger brother may be taller than I, but I’m STOUTER.

My parents will also be staying in the area for a few months. They live in Uruguay, so I haven’t seen them in many, many months. (For my readers unversed in geography: Uruguay is quite a long way from my home in Berne, Indiana.) I’m delighted they’ll be around for a while!

Between work, helping my brother get settled and other commitments, I’m going to be pretty busy next week. I’ve decided to take the week off from my blogs. Fear not, dear reader! Regular updates shall resume on TMTF on Monday, September 16, and on the Solidarity blog on Thursday, September 19.

There’s one more reason for my decision to take a week off from this blog. My typewriter monkeys are striking… again. They’re upset about my brother invading (their word) my apartment. (I concede that Mole End, my apartment, is getting a bit crowded.) It will take at least a week to get my monkeys back to work.

In the meantime, I’ve got things to do and places to be and coffee to drink. Onward!

201. And We’re Back!

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My typewriter monkeys have dusted off their typewriters. I’ve brewed some coffee, fired up my laptop and spent roughly half an hour trying to think of a really clever way to start off this blog post.

Ah, it’s good to be back.

Truth be told, I really needed the break. TMTF had become an obligation, and getting away from it for a few weeks was exactly what I needed to renew my enthusiasm for rambling about faith, writing, video games, literature, life, the universe and everything.

Having cherished a private hope that my typewriter monkeys would make their month-long vacation in Tijuana a permanent stay, I was disappointed. My monkeys have returned. They brought back a baffling collection of souvenirs: three sacks of coconuts, a Velvet Elvis and a hideous false mustache. (I know better than to ask questions.) My monkeys are annoyed to be back, and I’m annoyed they’re back, so at least we agree on something.

In other news, my break gave me an opportunity to make plans for my writing.

At some point, for example, I may put Geeky Wednesdays on hold for a dozen weeks and republish The Infinity Manuscript as a serial. Hardly anyone has read The Infinity Manuscript, which is rather a shame. I put quite a lot of work into it. Rerunning the story seems like a great option if I become temporarily too busy to handle the pressure of writing new Geeky Wednesday posts every week.

I didn’t exactly devote my month off to soul-searching, but it hit me more clearly than ever before that I need to have a better, brighter outlook. I’m a pessimist. As often as I’ve pointed out the importance of being positive, I haven’t been consistent in having a hopeful attitude.

Few things are drearier than forcing or faking cheerfulness. Artificial happiness is a poor alternative to honest pessimism. Father Brown, G.K. Chesterton’s great detective, called an outlook of false optimism “a cruel religion.”

It finally struck me that having a cheerful outlook is not the same as merely pretending to be cheerful. Without making the slightest effort to feel a certain way, I can choose to focus on the positive over the negative instead of succumbing to Batman Syndrome and letting the negative eclipse everything else.

All this to say: I’ve been more positive lately. It’s nice. I recommend it.

The past year was an adventure. I found a job, settled down, learned some invaluable lessons, ate a lot of cookies and discovered coffee tastes great with bourbon.

This was the year I grew up.

I remain grateful to God for bringing me so far, excited to press onward and upset with my typewriter monkeys for cluttering up my apartment with coconuts. I wish they had stayed in Tijuana.