My younger brother, John, has a gift for butchering the spoken word. I keep a meticulous record of his mispronunciations, y’know, for science. The first two parts of the list can be found here and here.

Today’s entry concludes the list… for now. I plan to continue updating the list long after this blog has withered like the grass and fallen like the flowers. (I may be ridiculous, but at least I’m consistent about it.) For now, please enjoy this final round of word derps!

Special thanks to John, of course, for putting up with me. He’s the beth—excuse me, the best—younger brother a guy could have.

Enough talk. WE DERP NOW.

• Waping for waiting
• Sir for sure
• Letter for later
• Uvver for other
• Harned for hand
• Enthusium for enthusiasm
• Lank for yank
• Egg zacky for exactly
• Prenny for plenty
• Seriousless for seriousness
• Wurg for word
• Gurd for good
• Shammer eye for samurai
• Bear achoo duh for barracuda
• Pilmgrim for pilgrim
• Twain for train
• Odors for orders
• Poppity for properties
• Blaine for plane
• Shounds for sounds
• Teens for tins
• Coupon for keep on
• Kwunchy for country
• Sinking for singing
• Athettically for aesthetically

From the full list, my favorite derps so far are “pleeple” for “people,” “flaw-plaw” for “firepower,” and “pervervy” for “perverted.” At least one derp has entered John’s regular vocabulary; he insists on calling my beard a “bleared,” and I can’t say I blame him.