Video Game Systems Sure Make Great Instruments

Posted on October 1, 2014 by Adam Stück

Musical instruments may be designed to produce a specific sound, but that doesn’t stop some musicians from using a single instrument to make all kinds of noises. For example, guitarist Phil Keaggy and cellist Steven Sharp Nelson use their instruments in incredibly creative ways. In my all-time favorite arrangement of Pachelbel’s Canon, Mr. Nelson strums his instrument like a banjo and beats it like a drum besides playing it as, you know, a cello.

Some clever musician on YouTube composed and performed some lovely music: smooth electronica backed by acoustic percussion. The only instruments used were three video game consoles: a Wii, an Xbox 360, and a PS3. The song is titled “Console Wars.” Of course.

I’m amazed at how a coherent melody, let alone such a charming one, could be arranged from the beeps of systems powering on, the jingles of menu screens, the clicks of analogue sticks, and the soft thumps of hands hitting plastic.

I like video game music, and I’ve shared a lot of it. This song isn’t like any I’ve ever heard. I wonder what other everyday objects could be used as instruments….

Where There Is No More Hope, Song Remains

Posted on September 24, 2014 by Adam Stück

“What can be done in a hell? They sang. For where there is no more hope, song remains.”

~ Victor Hugo

I’ve been reading the unabridged Les Misérables for much longer than I care to admit. (It’s kind of a heavy book.) I recently put it on hold in order to read some borrowed books I must soon return. As nice as it is to enjoy something a little lighter, I can hardly wait to dive back into the tale of Jean Valjean.

Les Mis is a novel sparkling with literary gems, and one jumped out at me a few pages before I put down the novel. “Where there is no more hope, song remains.”

I sing a lot. Although I’m no great singer, I find it oddly therapeutic. I frequently sing at work when my coworkers are out of earshot, and lately I’ve been singing more than usual.

My job has seemed stressful and thankless in the past few weeks. (I am so, so thankful to begin a vacation in a few days!) Besides coffee, which is an ever present help in trouble, few things in my job have encouraged and cheered me more than song.

The phrase above from Lez Mizzy reminded me of how thankful I am for the gift of singing. When work seems hard, life seems dark, or the coffeepot runs dry, song remains. I’m thankful for it.

The Spirit Temple?

Posted on September 17, 2014 by Adam Stück

Very few readers will understand this comic, and that’s perfectly fine. I thought it was far too funny not to share.

If you don’t get the joke, there are two things you must do. First, you should read the Bible, which is the greatest book ever written. Second, you should play The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, which is basically the video game equivalent of the Bible.

Incidentally, always thought it was odd that the dungeons in Ocarina of Time were called temples. I mean, were they meant to be places of worship? If so, what deities were worshiped? Why are their temples full of monsters and death traps? What kind of eccentric deities would want such lousy temples? Am I overthinking things?

So many questions.

The Liar Paradox (and Surviving the Robot Apocalypse)

Posted on September 10, 2014 by Adam Stück

This statement is false.

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but the statement above makes my head hurt.

Geeks and philosophers alike have puzzled over the liar paradox, in which a statement contradicts itself. If “This statement is false” is true, then it must be false. It can’t be both, which makes it nonsense.

In the event of a robot apocalypse—a catastrophic takeover of human society by artificial intelligence—my advice is to hurl liar paradoxes at the machines. With any luck, they’ll puzzle over these impossible statements until their circuits or microchips burn out, deactivating the robots and saving humankind.

A robot apocalypse is unlikely, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. I’ve seen The Matrix and The Terminator. I know how those revolutions end.

It begins. (Comic by xkcd.)

Returning to the liar paradox, it reminds me of the “Knights and Knaves” riddles at which I’m so terrible. These puzzles feature people who tell only truths or only lies, requiring the puzzle-solver to distinguish the liars from the truth-tellers. Sifting through their conflicting statements requires exactly the kind of cool logic and steadfast patience I don’t have.

A contradiction similar to the liar paradox can be found in the denial of absolute truth. I believe some things are absolutely true, their truthfulness unaffected by my belief or disbelief. Denying this is silly. If “There is no absolute truth” is an absolute truth, then it’s self-contradictory. If “There is no absolute truth” is not an absolute truth, then it allows for absolute truth as an exception to the rule. Either way, the statement breaks down completely.

All this philosophy is making me thirsty. I’m going to go make some coffee, assuming my coffeemaker hasn’t become self-aware and begun planning the robot apocalypse.

I’d better get some paradoxes ready just in case.

Pöpcørn

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Adam Stück

The ABRAA (Association of Blogs Run by Animal Assistants) has informed me and my typewriter monkeys that our blog will be shut down if we don’t feature more educational content. This scared me at first, but I’ve discovered an easy solution to appease the strict inquisitors of the ABRAA: I will let the Muppets do the educating for me. What could go wrong?

Today we’re learning to make popcorn shrimp, and also sweet music. Take notes.

The captions (accessible via the button marked CC on the video when viewed on YouTube) are probably my favorite thing about this video. The person transcribing the Swedish Chef’s gibberish gives up about a minute in and starts rambling about his job. It’s an extra layer of humor in an already delightful skit.

The Chef himself speaks hilariously like someone I know. I work in a group home for gentlemen with disabilities, and one of them mumbles in what I presume to be a fluent mixture of English, Swedish, and Ewok. I’ve gotten pretty good at deciphering his gibberish, but it’s taken a lot of practice.

I sure hope the ABRAA is satisfied by TMTF’s attempt at educating its readers… and that the Swedish Chef doesn’t give my pyromaniacal monkeys any ideas.

Video Game Gospel Music

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Adam Stück

I’m no stranger to offbeat versions of the Lord’s Prayer, and I’ve heard plenty of a cappella video game music, but… whoa. I mean, whoa.

“Baba Yetu” is the theme of Civilization IV, a game I’ve never played in a series that has never interested me. I first heard this song when my older brother, who is definitely not a gamer, had me listen to it a few years ago.

The song is the Lord’s Prayer in Swahili, and it’s beautiful. This arrangement by Peter Hollens and Malukah, a couple of YouTube musicians, is fantastic. “Baba Yetu” made history a few years ago by being the first song written for a video game to win a Grammy.

I’ve heard enough 8-bit chiptunes and earsplitting dubstep in video games. What they need is more lovely gospel music!

The Darker Side of Toy Story

Posted on August 20, 2014 by Adam Stück

Who would make a toy like this? This is a genuine, honest-to-goodness toy. Who on God’s green earth thought giving a classic Pixar character that perverted expression was a good idea? This is one Woody I’m really, really thankful won’t ever come to life when I’m not looking.

As much as I like the Toy Story movies, I’m glad toys don’t have secret lives of their own. We just assume toys would be well-behaved, but what guarantee is there of that? What’s to say some of them wouldn’t be misanthropic jerks?

I rest my case.

Heavy Metal Disney Music

Posted on August 13, 2014 by Adam Stück

I feel like I’ve posted a lot of Disney music lately, and all of it has been “Let It Go.” While it’s certainly a great song, “Let It Go” is hardly Disney’s best. Walt Disney Animation Studios has produced dozens of films, and some of them have really rocking soundtracks. Alan Menken, a longtime Disney composer, has won, like, eight Academy Awards.

Yes, Disney has some great music, and it’s time for TMTF to move the spotlight from “Let It Go” to the one Disney song I think we can all agree is the very best.

I speak, of course, of “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan.

All right, maybe this song isn’t Disney’s absolute best, but it’s certainly my favorite. I loved it when I saw the movie as a kid, and I love it fifteen years later. I wasn’t planning on showcasing more Disney music on TMTF any time soon, but dang if this isn’t the most epic cover of a Disney song I’ve ever heard.

Walt Whitman on Blogging

Posted on August 6, 2014 by Adam Stück

I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

~ Walt Whitman

I haven’t read many poems, but every now and then a line of poetry grabs me by the ears and gives me a good shake.

The line above, from Walt Whitman’s “Song of Myself,” pretty much nails why most bloggers blog. We take our stand, like wisdom in the Proverbs, in the most public places we can find. We gaze out upon the Internet, over the phantom roofs of this virtual city, and sound our own individual cries: “Hey everybody! I’m a person with ideas and views and dreams! Listen to what I have to say!”

Perhaps I should read more poetry. What might a blogger learn from Yeats or Wordsworth?

The Internet Won’t Let It Go

Posted on July 30, 2014 by Adam Stück

Disney’s Frozen came out last year, but the Internet continues to obsess over “Let It Go,” the film’s most catchy song. Heck, even TMTF jumped on the ~~sleigh~~ bandwagon. Most of these fads die out in a few weeks, but “Let It Go” continues to echo round the Internet.

I keep stumbling upon great arrangements of the song. In addition to the electronic version I shared last time, here are a couple more.

The video above is yet another lovely piece from The Piano Guys, who were last heard round these parts rocking “Pachelbel’s Canon.” I haven’t the faintest idea how they managed to get an entire freaking piano into that ice palace, nor how they filmed all those sweeping shots, and I don’t really care. This blend of “Let It Go” with Vivaldi’s “Winter” gives me chills. (Pun intended. I’m so, so sorry.)

If classical music isn’t your thing, here’s a Weird Al-style parody from the adorkable comedy duo Debs and Errol based on Star Trek: First Contact, my favorite Star Trek film. (Sorry, J.J.) I’m not really a Star Trek fan, but this video made me grin.

Weird Al himself was apparently thinking of doing a Star Trek parody of “Let It Go,” but Debs and Errol beat him to it.

Question: Do you have a favorite version of this song? Let us know in the comments!

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