330. Gone Writing, Back Soon!

Due to writing commitments and threats of arson, TMTF will be taking a two-week break.

I suppose I’d better start with the threats. My typewriter monkeys, my reluctant assistants for this blog, want to visit Costa Rica for some reason. (I suppose it must be the bananas and warm weather.) They’re demanding a vacation, and threatening to burn down my apartment building if I refuse their demands.

For the readers fortunate enough never to have met my monkeys, I should mention their terrifying ability to set fire to anything under any conditions. I don’t recall how many times they’ve been arrested for arson; I think the number is in the high sixties. My monkeys’ rap sheet is nearly as long as the unabridged works of Shakespeare, and that’s just for the time I’ve spent in Berne, Indiana. A complete collection of their criminal records would fill a library… which they would probably burn down.

Many Are Cold, Few Are Frozen

This is a fragment from a fire started by my monkeys last winter. I’m surprised anything survived that fire. Heck, I’m surprised survived that fire.

My point is that my monkeys like burning down buildings, and I like having a home. I have surrendered and accepted their demands.

My typewriter monkeys are on their way to Costa Rica. With any luck, they’ll stay there. TMTF will be on break until they return—or else until I hire some new animal assistants. I’ve always liked squirrels. Typewriter Squirrel Task Force has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

In the meantime, I plan to spend my two-week break from blogging catching up with backer rewards from last month’s charity fundraisers. I have some writing to do!

(The Living Water fundraiser will be up and running for nearly two more months, by the way, so please feel free to donate to provide clean water to people in need! This blog’s rewards for donors will remain in effect for the duration of the fundraiser!)

This blog will not go dark during the break! For the next two weeks, TMTF will rerun previous posts on the usual schedule (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) because recycling is good for the environment.

As we begin a new year, I’m going to have a Serious Adam Moment and thank you for reading. Seriously. Thank you so much. As I’ve said before, the greatest joy of a writer is to be read. I would like also to give extra-special thanks to everyone who participated in the charity fundraisers last month. You guys are awesome.

TMTF will resume with new content on Monday, January 19. Happy New Year! Stay fabulous!

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